Added on September 8, 2009
Beer Commercial
Beer does not solve problems...But if you think again,neither does Milk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Added on August 12,2009
The Value of a Drink
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame, then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading"
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not
Added on April 7, 2009
Beer Advertisement
Blonde Wrestling Advertizemnet
Added on April 8, 2008
Click on the link below
http://www.beerwarn ing.com/index. html
Added on Jan. 9, 2008
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000.
With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.
If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left.
If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left.
But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund you would have $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment advise is to drink heavily and recycle.
This is called the 401-Keg Plan.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Added on Dec.7, 2007
It took me all weekend, I finished every bottle and finally got my tree up!!!
How to Speak Beer Geek
by Ken Wells.
It is taken from following website : http://smallbusiness.aol.com/start/startup/article-partner/_a/how-to-speak-beer-geek/20070620153009990002
The American beerscape has changed for the better. Now, learn to navigate it.
Portyfolio.com
Here’s a trick question. What is the best place in the world right now to drink beer, based on range of styles available, number of brands available, and, most important, taste?
Germany? No.
Great Britain? No.
Belgium, where all those monks make beer? Good guess, but wrong again.
It’s right here in the good ole U.S.A.
“Impossible!” cry certain kinds of people, mostly European (or worse, Australian or Canadian) beer snobs oblivious to the beer revolution that has taken place in America over the last quarter century. Since the early 1980s, when we were down to three main national brands (Bud, Miller, and Coors) and a few dozen regional beer makers, beer has made a remarkable comeback.
This is mostly thanks to “craft beer” makers operating small-production brewpubs or microbreweries, who started brewing beer for palates that had grown weary of the homogenized stuff that big beer makers were turning out. Today, 1,436 breweries (including brewpubs) populate the American beerscape, producing an astonishing array of beer styles and choices.
True, many of these breweries have only local or regional distribution. But beers from a growing number of the top 50 craft brewers—Boston Beer Co. (maker of Sam Adams) and Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. among them—are available nationally or pan-regionally. And anyone really serious about beer could travel the length and breadth of America for a year and still not make much of a dent in the nation’s continually growing beer list. (I know, because I tried this.) Just do some simple math. Let’s say that each of the 1,436 breweries (or brewpubs) offers an average of six beers (and I think that’s conservative). That’s edging up toward 9,000 beers to choose from.
So, you’re a Bud drinker (or a repentant European beer snob) shocked by these revelations? Don’t be alarmed. You can join the enlightened beer conversation, and the fun, simply by learning a few new-beer fundamentals and asking some intelligent questions. You might even become a “beer geek,” as craft-beer aficionados self-deprecatingly refer to themselves.
First thing to know: Beer is made using a simple recipe of water, malt (usually kilned barley), yeast, and hops. But the great river of beer divides into two streams: lager and ale.
Bud is lager. So is Coors, so is Miller, so is Heineken, so is Corona.
Guinness is ale. So is Bass. So is Sam Adams Honey Porter and Sierra Nevada.
What’s the difference between lager and ale? And what about pilsner? On the flavor front, consider this music analogy: Lager is like smooth jazz and Top 40 and, now and then, great classical music; ale is funk, salsa, even heavy metal. Pilsner is simply a style of lager originating in the Pilsen area of the Czech Republic.
As for where the flavor originates, it basically comes down to yeast.
Ale is the world’s original beer, brewed by pharaoh and Pilgrim alike. It’s the beer of Shakespeare and the British pub; the beer beloved by Ben Franklin. It’s also the favorite style of modern American craft brewers. The very first ale was no doubt brewed accidentally in some lost millennium when free-ranging yeast “spoiled” a batch of grain that some hunter-gatherer had left soaking in water. It wouldn’t have tasted like much but, ah, the buzz.
Ale yeast’s main virtue is that it ferments at room temperature—so, ale can be made almost anyplace. The yeast does its work at the top of fermentation tanks, gobbling up sugars and throwing off byproducts, notably alcohol but also some earthy, fruity compounds. It is less ravenous than lager yeast, and leaves behind more fermentable sugars. Thus, ales can taste quite complex—too complex for some palates.
Lager, meanwhile, didn’t commercially exist until the early 1840s, but now it rules the world. About 95 percent of all beer consumed on earth is lager.
What explains this? Again, the yeast. Though its origins are murky, lager yeast, one theory holds, is a mutation of wine yeast. It was discovered accidentally (again) by German brewers tired of their ales souring in the summer heat. These brewers started storing their ales in caves, where at some point a batch got fermented by mutated yeast and produced a beer that was lighter, crisper, and drier. Modern chemistry would prove that this is because lager yeast leaves fewer byproducts in the beer. Lager yeast has one major drawback, however. It only ferments at cold temperatures—meaning, until mechanical refrigeration, it could only be made in caves or cellars.
Lager was an instant success in Europe. Not only was it crisp and refreshing, but owing to the development of pale malt in the 19th century, it was golden and clear, unlike dark, cloudy ales. Lager was introduced to these shores very shortly afterward, by immigrant brewers with names like Anheuser, Busch, Miller, Coors, and Pabst, and basically chased ale from the landscape—until the craft brew revolution of the 1980s. (Even today, ale is a fading style in Britain and only really thrives in Belgium, thanks to those monks. Germany and the rest of Northern Europe are lager dominions.)
Is the lager made by early German brewers the same as the lager made today? Not quite. Bud, Miller, and Coors make a style now known as American light lager.
The main distinction between American light and original American lager (and traditional European lager) is the use of so-called adjuncts—mainly corn or rice—as a replacement for or supplement to barley malt, which is expensive. The move away from pure barley malt may have begun as a response to shortages at various times. But the beer—lighter in color and taste—caught on, and the big brewers have stuck with adjunct formulas.
So Bud and its ilk are bad? Bud’s not my favorite, but I’ve drunk many a pleasurable one on a hot day at the beach or ballpark. These beers are brewed to very high standards; the issue is their recipes. The great virtue—and weakness—of this style is that it’s inoffensive to most palates. Add talking-frog or hot-bar-chick advertising campaigns and you can sell a lot of it. Indeed, half of all beer sold in America is made by Anheuser-Busch; Miller and Coors account for another 25 percent.
So beer geeks hate lager? Not exactly, but many disparage American light lagers as watered down, homogenized versions of the robust beers that immigrant German brewers brought here. A growing number of craft brewers are making old-style lagers with lots of barley malt and hops, hewing to the traditional European formulas. (Smuttynose Portsmouth Lager is one tasty example.) And if you want to impress a beer geek, ask him or her to recommend a black lager. It’s really just a lager made with dark-roasted barley malt.
What if don’t like ale? I find Guinness too thick and Bass too bitter. I don’t like all ales, either, but ale covers such a wide spectrum of styles and flavors that if you like beer at all, you’ll eventually find something to drink. Pale ale, a style popularized by Sierra Nevada, has some lager-like qualities: It’s golden in color and crisp in flavor. So does Kölsch, though you’ll have to look harder to find it, since not many craft brewers make it. If you come across a Kölsch called Hollywood Blonde, grab it—it’s incredibly smooth.
How can I sound beer savvy to a bunch of beer geeks? Ask, “Are you a hops fan or a malt fan?”
These are the two major camps in the ale-drinking world: imbibers of lighter-colored and lighter-bodied ales, like pale ale and India pale ale (I.P.A.), which traditionally have a moderate to high hops content; and stouts, the dark ales, of which Guinness is the best-known example.
Great. But what are hops and why are stouts dark? Hops are the flower cones of a vine related to the nettle and the marijuana plant. They give beer a mildly bitter bite and floral overtones. Stouts (and black lagers) contain barley malt that was roasted differently—the darker the malt, the darker the beer.
How do I know if I’ve become a beer geek? When you pick up a bottle of India pale ale and are annoyed if the I.B.U. rating isn’t on the bottle. (If you have to ask what an I.B.U. is, you aren’t a beer geek yet.)
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ben Franklin said: "In beer there is freedom, in water there is
bacteria." In a number of carefully controlled trials,
scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water
each day, at the end of the year we would have consumed more
than 1 kilogram (2.2053 Lbs) of Escherichia coli bacteria,
found in feces.
In plain words, we would be drinking 1 kilo of poop. However, we
do NOT run that risk when drinking beer goes through a
purification process in boiling, filtering, and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Beer = Health.
In conclusion: It's better to drink beer, and talk stupid, than
to drink water, and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information, I'm
just performing a public service... Cheers!!!!!!
----------------------------------------------
"Without
question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh,
I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go
nearly as well with pizza".
~Dave Barry
Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your
friends over
and over again that you love them.
--------------------------------------------------------
To some
it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
Warning: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
---------------------------------------------------
A woman walked
into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly
swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone
-----------------
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I
grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly
as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and
over again that you love them.
-----------------------------------------------------
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
can!
~Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex with out spitting.
-----------------------------------------------
New View of Conservatives and Liberals
The 2 most important events in all of
history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the
foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for
the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups: Liberals and
Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered it required
grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass
bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human
ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they
just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking
and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer.
This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative
movement."
Other men who were weaker and less
skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing
up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair
dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of
these liberal men eventually evolved into women.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements
include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and
group hugs and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to
divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years
conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful
land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the
jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like
their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard
liberal fare.
Another interesting revolutionary
side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than
their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys,
journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.
Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair"
to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer.
They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives
are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction
workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate
executives, Marines, athletes and generally anyone who works
productively. Conservatives who own
companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a
living.
Liberals
produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and
decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are
more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They
crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of
trying to get MORE for nothing. Here ends today's lesson in world
history:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, the humanity!
Please read below
and click on the attachment...this is a very sad story...
Very sobering
indeed!!!
A picture of a
horrible highway accident in Ireland . The picture may be kind of
hard to take for some of you.
If you look closely
you can see what appear to be some survivors of the accident still in
the wreckage. Although the picture is quite graphic, it makes you
realize how quickly our loved ones can be taken from us.
My friend stayed on
the scene to help and even though he performed mouth to mouth on quite
a few of them, none apparently survived.
--------------------
Warning: Beer Contains Female Hormones
Scientists for Health Canada have suggested that men should take a
look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent
analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The
theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the
finding,100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed
that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making
sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think
rationally, argued over nothing and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.
------------------------------------------------------------------
The Philosophy of Alcohol
"Sometimes
when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look
into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all
their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself,
"It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true
than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
--------------------------------------------------
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
----------------------------------------------
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~Henry Youngman
Warning: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people
are laughing
WITH you.
------------------------------------
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not"
~Stephen Wright
Warning: The Consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can
sing.
------------------------------------
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
we fall
asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's
all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~Brian O'Rourke
Warning: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
--------------------------------------
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~Benjamin Franklin
Warning: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like a retard.
|
